Birthday Cake for Chickens

A cross-cultural look at Jesus and the Syrophoenician woman

Mark 7:24-30 and Matthew 15:21-28

A Grain of Salt (My disclaimer)

I had the honor of living in Eurasia like a member of a local family for eight years. During that time, realized that Bible stories came to life for me in a new way when I read them in the local language, because my background assumptions and mental images were different in that culture. When I got stuck trying to understand a parable, I would read it in the local language or ask my host mom what she thought it meant. 

My understanding of the Bible has been enriched by living outside America

Since then, I’ve moved back to the USA and have discovered that I have a different perspective to bring to the table in Bible studies because I have experience in a culture that resembles first-century Israel a bit more than 21st century America does. The culture of Eurasia is very communal compared to America. It operates on a shame/honor paradigm instead of guilt/righteousness. Many of its deepest values are things we associate with Eastern cultures (like respect and hierarchy, cleanliness, maintaining an honorable reputation, and community). 

This post is part of a collection of my thoughts on several passages from the gospels. It’s not a scholarly Bible commentary. I’m not trying to refute anyone else’s ideas about the passages I discuss here, and I’m definitely not saying that my understanding of them is complete or conclusive. I’m also not trying to claim that Eurasian culture is exactly the same as the one Jesus lived in. All I want to do is show you how my personal understanding of the Bible has been enriched by living outside America for a time. I want to express the colors that Eurasia has painted onto my understanding of a few passages so you can see them from one more angle as you consider everything else about them you already know. There are other authors who have done a more comprehensive job of this, and I’ve been influenced by their thoughts as well (I recommend The Crescent through the Eyes of the Cross by Nabeel Jabbour or Misreading Scripture With Western Eyes by E. Randolph Richards and Brandon O’Brien). 

The Syrophoenician Woman

Mark 7:24-30 and Matthew 15:21-28

My understanding of this passage is shaped by three principles from communal cultures:

1. The household functions as its own economic unit. 
2. Every member of the household can expect to be taken care of by the household’s resources.
3. Within the household, there is a natural pecking order.  

Let me unpack each of those. First, the household is its own economic unit. 

Money belongs to the whole family, and they take care of each other

In Eurasia, the household is a large concept. People keep track of extended relatives and in-laws well beyond the range of what we have terms for. (It is totally normal for someone to attend the wedding of her husband’s sister’s husband’s brother’s son, or even someone further removed.) They also have a family-centric economy. The middle-aged generation of the family I lived with has nine siblings. Half of them still live in a farming village in the mountains; the other half have migrated to the capital city. Every time a family member from the city travels to the village, he or she spends about a quarter of a month’s salary on gifts for the villagers like candy, tea, toys and clothing. When a village dweller visits the city, he or always takes a huge load of fruits and vegetables, eggs, meat, and milk products. The family I lived with never bought cheese in the store because every time we ran out, we would get a shipment of it from the village relatives. Stagecoach busses running back and forth from village to city can be paid a few dollars to carry a box to relatives at the other end of the line. 

Another aspect of the Eurasian economy that was hard to grasp at first is the way money flows within a family. In the US, we think of money as an individual asset: I have a savings account with my name on it; I earn my own money and save it for my retirement; I invest in my own insurance policies so they will take care of me when I have a big need. But in a communal culture like Eurasia, money belongs to the whole family, and they take care of each other. Children who are old enough to work give most, if not all, of their salaries to their parents to help take care of household expenses. Parents will rely on their children to take care of them through their retirement. Many middle-class people don’t have bank accounts because the current working generation still remembers when the Soviet Union fell, and overnight their bank certificates were not recognized. Now, if people save at all, they put the cash under their mattress. But it’s not uncommon for individuals not to save at all. It seems selfish for one person to tuck money away for a rainy day when someone else in the family is having a rainy day right now. 

Solid family relationships are more common than insurance policies

Second:  let me explain what I mean when I say every member of a family can expect to be taken care of by the family. 

Instead of having individual savings accounts like many people do in the US, Eurasian family members draw on one another’s resources. When one person is buying a car, everyone in the family with a salary is expected to pitch in a little. If someone is having surgery, everyone pitches in again. Solid family relationships are more common than insurance policies. People are expected to take care of one another. Often there is one “rich uncle” in the family who has a decent-paying job. Ideally, that person contributes large portions of others’ expenses when they are in need. It would be dishonorable and selfish if he refused to help his relatives. This is part of the concept of patronage, which is a facet of cultures that function on a shame/honor paradigm. (I’m not going to explain that here because it would take another book, but there’s an excellent description in Ministering in Honor-Shame Cultures by Jayson Georges and Mark D. Baker.) 

Once I got into a discussion about raising children with an Eurasian friend who is a mother of two little boys. As I explained how my parents had encouraged me to save up my chore money as a child and loan it to my sister with interest, my friend looked horrified. She led me to the window of her house and showed me two tall red houses down the street. 

“Do you see those houses?” she asked. “Those were built by three brothers. They all worked together to build the oldest one’s house when he got married. Then they built the second one. Now they’re still pooling their salaries to build the youngest brother a house next door. None of them would have been able to do that on their own. That’s the strength of our people. That’s why we teach our children to share everything within the family.” I understood. Families are taught to think as a unit where everyone is absolutely expected to take care of each other. No one should need to look outside the family for a loan or for other provision. 

No one would put the first piece of birthday cake in front of the chickens

Third, within a household itself, there is a natural pecking order of consumption. 

The best portions of food are always given to guests, if there are any present. After that, the men are given food. Women also eat well, but they sometimes eat after the men or in a different room if there aren’t enough seats at the table. They also keep the lopsided or discolored pieces for themselves to avoid placing them in front of the men. (This is more about the women’s desire to show respect than about any kind of chauvinism on the part of the men.) Children are fed when they are hungry, which seldom seems to coincide with mealtimes for company, so they are often fed separately, sometimes by themselves in the kitchen if there are guests present. Whatever is left on people’s plates after the meal is scraped into a bucket and taken outside, where it is dumped out in front of the chickens. If there aren’t enough leftovers for the chickens to eat well, they’re given grain. 

When the family celebrates a birthday, the pecking order is a little different. First the children gather around the cake to blow out the candles. (I once saw a family re-light the candles five times to give each child present a chance to blow them out.) The birthday kid gets a piece of cake, then the rest of the children,and finally the more patient adults are given their portions. No one would put the first piece of birthday cake in front of the chickens, but they too can definitely expect to be fed their fill in due time (whether it’s leftover cake scraps or just bread from dinner).

Even the dogs in the household are looking to the hand of the same master

I believe this is what Jesus is hinting at when he challenges the Syrophoenician woman’s request for his attention and healing power. He’s not calling her a dog or saying he doesn’t want to help her, but he is making sure she and his other listeners understand that his primary mission is to the lost sheep of Israel. They are the children getting birthday cake. The woman understood, and then went one step further by indicating her belief that she was also an extended part of that same family of lost sheep. That’s how my Eurasian mother immediately understood this passage when she heard it.

She explained to me, “even the dogs in the household are looking to the hand of the same master for food. The woman is showing Jesus that she considers him her master, and she is expecting him to provide for her-  where else can she go?” The chickens aren’t the first to get a piece of cake, but they’re not going to go begging at the neighbors’ house, either. 

The woman understood that there is a natural pecking order. She was ultimately part of the household of God, and she was confidently waiting on him to provide healing for her daughter that only He could provide. The woman would not go elsewhere. She was willing to wait her turn and be given her portion only after the lost sheep of Israel had their fill, but she understood that the Master had more than enough resources to provide for them all and still have leftovers for her, and she knew she would not be turned away.

Does this resonate with you?

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