Companionship is the purpose

Just like that, I’m in Europe. We time-warped our way through the weekend and here we are on Monday morning in a small Czech city. I walked Erik to his office and then took off on a long wander to figure out what to do next. Before we left Texas, several friends asked me, “what are you going to do while you’re over there?” 

Erik is here to do what he normally does, with the people he normally manages, only face-to-face for a change. I am here for no reason at all. It was a long enough trip that it was worth it for him to take me along. I’m here for the sole purpose of us being together instead of apart. It seems like only a handful of weeks ago that he was in across the ocean by himself for work and I was having coffee with my neighbor to fight off the aloneness (see “empty“). 

Erik has already said at least six times today that he’s so glad I’m with him on this trip. Traveling overseas and staying in a hotel by himself for a week or more is a sad sort of thing to do. This time he still gets to come home to me, wake up next to me, and text me in real time during the day if he wants. It’s just nice to have the presence of a good friend in the same city.

At first I was tempted to come up with a mission for myself on this trip. After all, I don’t sit still well, and I don’t like having nothing to do. At the end of the day, I want to be able to say I’ve accomplished something. 

Should I have a writing goal? Cook elaborate meals every day? Conquer all the tourist sites in this city? Maybe do some intentional soul-searching?

But this morning I had a mini revelation about all that. Erik doesn’t need me to be productive here; he just needs me to be here. It doesn’t matter what I do during the day. He just wants me to be generally available to him. 

I wonder if God thinks about our relationship with him that way. After all, he created us to know him and be fully known by him. Maybe he just wants us to be near him. Maybe sometimes he takes us places (dare I say it?… even overseas!) just so we’ll be with him there. Sometimes he sends us out on deep waters, too, just so we’ll pull in a little closer to him. There might not always have to be a grand purpose or a destination. 

I know there’s a balance here somewhere. Yes, God does “use us” to accomplish his purposes. He created us for good works. But my pendulum is probably too close to the “working for God” end of the spectrum most of the time, so I’m swinging back a little toward “just being with God” this week. I’m going to think of my life as God’s business trip, not mine. I’m just along for the companionship. 

This was in my reading plan this morning: 

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;

    I will counsel you with my eye upon you.

Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding,

    which must be curbed with bit and bridle,

    or it will not stay near you.

Psalm 32:8-9

I can stop looking for my own path. It’s OK if I just walk, listening to him, and trusting him to show me the path when there’s a certain way he wants me to go. I think I’m going to keep listening to music and joyfully wandering in the city for now. This is what walking with God looks like for me this week.

What does it look like for you? I’d love to hear your comments.