- Oh my goodness, I have a kid! And where did that whole first month go? Apparently I don’t have time to write paragraphs anymore but here are my latest thoughts.
- I went to the dentist the other day. It was the first time I left my baby with a non-family member, so that’s all I could think about. The technician made a big deal about how I should let him know if I felt uncomfortable or needed a break at any point during the bite-wing x-rays. I said, “A month ago I pushed a baby out of my body without medication. I think I can handle these x-rays.” He had no idea what to do with that and responded with some kind of grunt.
- I have to actually work a bit to clean out my belly button again. I have very mixed feelings about this.
- I feel victorious every time I breastfeed in a group setting without flashing anyone. Maybe my bar is still too low.
- Speaking of a low bar… “Self care” used to mean all kinds of lovely activities… journaling, coffee, crafts, hiking, writing music. Now it means I get to take a poo without interruption.
- I used to be able to sit down and focus on things for hours. Now my attention span is
- This baby is so dang cute. Other people’s newborn babies are always kind of ugly but this one is irresistible. Do other people secretly think my baby is ugly and they just tell me she’s cute because it’s what I want to hear? I don’t even care… I think she’s cute.
- We took the baby to church for the first time this week. As we walked in the door, a man took a long look at the hot pink bow on her head and asked if it’s a boy or a girl. He then immediately told us we should make more children. (Does that mean she’s cute? And thanks, but let’s let some of the scars heal first!)
- She “Houdini”s her way out of Every. Swaddle. Ever. We have tried five different swaddle methods. I bet you didn’t even know that was a category. (I’ll take Swaddle Methods for 500!) The most successful one so far not even a blanket but a name-brand newborn straightjacket, which we put her into and then we lie in bed laughing as we hear her over in her crib grunting under her breath, followed by the slow “k-k-k-k-k-k” sound of a velcro barrier being breached from the inside out, one loop at a time. Finally her arm flies up into the air in triumph. Then she inevitably starts crying and we have to swaddle her again to get her to sleep.
- Last night she was almost too sleepy to breastfeed. It took twice as long as it usually does and I had to keep waking her up so she would finish. I did this because I knew if she didn’t eat, we would all be awake again in an hour. The minute she finally finished eating, she pooped. And cried, as she always does when she has a dirty diaper. So I changed her diaper and she got so wide awake she was up for almost an hour. Why does this happen?
- Jesus is teaching me about his heart and about connecting with him through suffering and sacrifice, but that would require paragraphs to explain so it’s going to have to be another post someday. Maybe when she turns 5 and goes to school.
- God has expanded my tent. I’m grateful, sleepy and stretched out in weird places.
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Published by Hannah Frost
I'm a 30-something who suddenly ended up married and living in Texas. Before that I had been single and overseas doing mission work for about a decade, so it was a shock. I blog to process and reflect.
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Your honest sharing is refreshing. Continue doing that and realize that you are not alone. We are all out here and have all been there 🙂 And amazingly many of us have gone on to have more than one! Let go of expectations and perfection and embrace the present. Be kind to yourself especially. Prayers and love abound.
Thank you!! That’s a good word!
All babies are cute… some just look more squished and wrinkly than others. Sadly I also had Houdinis and learned much about swaddle methods. We learned that swaddling with their hands near their faces, helped them be more interested in staying swaddled. Sometimes even with one arm all the way out… if they start that way with the arm placed carefully down, sometimes mine stayed asleep that way. I wish so much that I could come hold her while you do some uninterrupted things. Many of my best conversations have been with tiny babies. 🙂
Thank you! I do love taking to her! 🙂 That’s s good tip about the swaddling!
Hi! Hannah, brava! You have baby brain and bullet pointed creatively! You’re doing well. Congratulations.
Thank you! I don’t usually feel like we’re doing this well but it’s good to hear that.
I am laughing so hard……great to see you writing again!! <3
Yay! Thank you!